Closure can be Underwhelming

I’m divorced.

After a year and a half of separation, I’m divorced.

I should be happy, but I feel underwhelmed. I guess that’s fair. Despite it being a long slog, it’s crept up on me. I feel like a failure. My marriage failed — I am a failure.

But I know that’s not true. I know I tried really hard, and I know I can’t take full responsibility for it. I also know that ending the marriage was a healthy decision. I’m much happier not being married, and my life is more beautiful because I made the hard choice.

That’s a powerful thing: I made the hard choice to improve my life.

It’s the same with taking time off work — another hard choice in the moment, but one I needed to make for my well-being. I’m proud of myself for recognising what I deserve and admitting to myself that I needed change.

There’s still a lot to process, and I need to be kind to myself. I need to show myself grace — to treat myself like I would my own best friend.