Management and Me

You know those videos that say “maybe it’s not your manager”? So you take that to heart and assume full responsibility for why you’re off sick with stress.

Then, during a therapy session, you explain what’s been going on… and suddenly realise: maybe a lot of it actually is your manager.

Still, you want to go back to work. You’re starting to feel better. You want to return to routine, to purpose, to structure.
But when you try to find out what that return will look like, there’s no clear answer. You ask, and you’re told to wait until you’re actually back. No plan. No outline.

So now you're left frustrated and confused—and honestly, reluctant to return.

Yep, that's me.

It’s made me reflect a lot on the role of management. A good manager can make all the difference:
They shape your day-to-day experience, influence your reputation, and impact your work-life balance (especially if you, like me, struggle with boundaries—still learning!).

When leadership isn’t effective, everyone loses:

• The business loses—because talented people burn out.
• The manager loses—because relationships break down.
• The individual loses—emotionally, physically, mentally. Sleep disappears. Joy fades. Loved ones get the worst version of you.

In my case, I really lost. I got to the point where I was completely burned out. I cancelled plans. I became short with the people closest to me. I couldn’t rest, and when I did sleep, I’d wake up thinking about work.

And for what? A job where, ultimately, I’m replaceable.

I’ve realised this isn’t just about one person or one moment. There’s shared responsibility:

• The organisation—for not investing in proper leadership development.
• The manager—for not seeking the support or growth opportunities that could make them better.
• Me—for lacking boundaries, internalising too much, and thinking that working myself into the ground was the solution.

That clarity—painful as it is—has been one of the gifts of this time off.

What I know now is the only real control I have is how I protect my own boundaries.

And that’s where I’m starting.